Where Have I Been?
My posts here have gotten few and far between. The reason is one I have been reluctant to admit: I have been way off track, feeling down on myself, and embarrassed to post here. What was I supposed to say? “Hey, I know a lot of you have said I’m an inspiration, but right now all I can inspire anyone to do is gain weight like there’s no tomorrow and make the most creative excuses to skip workouts!”
I even went so far as to start another blog on here under a different name. I thought it would be motivating to make a new start, a more anonymous, honest start. But something felt very wrong from the rip. Using a different name wasn’t me. Not facing up to the consequences of my choices wasn’t me. Going into hiding sure as hell wasn’t me! (And a blog without Wonder Woman wasn’t me at all! 
)
So I am back and ready to rumble. I have revamped my profile, moved some things around on this blog, did a little house-cleaning to do this right: start over right here, be bluntly honest about the frustration of reaching goal weight and then gaining weight, but being hell-bent determined on getting back to goal.
Now you know where I have been, so where I am now? I am still at least 30 pounds from my highest weight ever, but even that is too dangerously close for me. I’m a long shot from my goal weight of 130, and I am definitely not happy where I am. But I have learned that hiding from that and not accepting that leaves me even more unhappy, and even less likely to do anything about it, so I am done screwing around trying to find other ways through this struggle. There is only one way, and I already know my way through: hard work, determination, daily choices, and refusing to accept anything but 100% from myself from here on out.
Pretending to be something I’m not does not work for me. I am back, ready to work, and ready to get back to shaping a new me.
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Welcome back. It is easy for everyone to say don’t feel this way or that but the fact is you feel what you feel. Let’s hope with a little support and determination you’ll brush all the negative, self talk away and regain your gold lasso of power and succeed! You were there, you know how to get there and you know what side-tracked you…..you are as good as done.
MJ you can do it! Just remember how good it feels to be at that goal weight! I love your quotes especially the Anais Nin one. WE are here for you!
Thanks! Just posting this and coming clean was a relief and very motivating. In a way it was simply validating and took a weight off my shoulders.
MJ you can do it. Girl, anything we can do to help, just give a shout ok. It sounds like your dusting yourself off and ready to tackle things again.
Thanks! I’ve had the most supportive messages and notes today after posting this. I am definitely ready to tackle things again!
Thanks for the honesty, MJ. And you CAN do it! Thanks for hanging in there with us… Also, thanks for you comment on my post today re: the Weight Watchers stuff. Much appreciated.
MJ you did it before and you WILL do it again!!! I admire your honesty and your determination not to quit. I will be here if you need me. You are still wonder woman to me!!
I am definately feeling your pain on the regaining…very frustrated with myself…beating myself up…
This can and will be accomplished…we can do this and I am so glad you are facing it…not hiding as it is so very easy to do. This journey…this life is not easy…but we can get where we desire to be with hard work and determination. So glad to be sharing this walk with you! HUGS MJ!!
I am glad you did not leave and came back under a different name. You wrting you are not an inspiration right now is WrONG!!!!!!11
you might have gaiend weight back but most of us will face this at one point,. But you coming back admitting and fighting back is a HUGE inspiration..
so I was glad to read your blog.
I am happy you are trying ot get back on track..
Girl, I’m right there with you. I got laid up on bedrest and got off track. Though I am still ill I am finally reining in the food. No wonder woman???? Shame, shame! Glad you are revamping and are now ready to go. Let’s see some results!
So glad your back on track. If you fall you just get back up. GO!!!
You made a very important first step. You came here and were honest. We know you can do it, and YOU know it too. We all support you!
Living in integrity is a scary thing and it is a huge inspiration to other to admit when your not and to also reclaim it by getting real by owning it. I have more respect for the person who say’s, “yes, I am flawed” that the picture perfect image so many try to fake.
Blessed be!
1st of all, congrats on not quitting! I know it’s reallllly hard to get started again once you get off track but YOU CAN DO IT!!
good luck and keep on truckin 